As the starter gun went off, I wasn’t really sure how I’d perform. It was my third marathon, but it’s still a marathon – a gruelling 42.195km. And weighing 91.5kg meant I had a lot to carry around.

It was also the first marathon after my brother passed away last February. We had been planning to run one together when he was diagnosed with a brain tumour. So the minutes before the start were somewhat emotional as he was not there, physically. He did, however, accompany me the whole way. I honestly believe that his presence made me get through the marathon.

I say ‘get through’, but in actual fact it was a great performance from my perspective, first and foremost because I finished the marathon in 4 hours 30 minutes 39.7 seconds.

When compared to the first placed athlete, it is way off, but when you consider that my first two marathons were run in 4:51:57 and 4:48:57 respectively, it was a great feat.

What’s even more amazing, in my eyes, is that I didn’t stop – I kept on going, fighting my mind which was badgering me to stop. Actually, I did stop and walk for around two seconds and then just started running again. I imagined my brother starting down at me and hassling me to get a move on as he didn’t have all day to hang around with a walker.

It’s funny how I could actually hear his voice in my head – “Ejja man, move on ostja.”

He was that way for the best of reasons, of course. And that helped me in my childhood, teenage years, and adulthood. And even after he left, he’s still helping out.

The marathon itself was relatively uneventful to be honest. I had planned it out quite meticulously, but my plans did change when I noticed that there was a pace maker for 4 hours 30 minutes. I then planned on sticking to him for as long as I could. I had aimed for a 4 hours 36 minutes time, so I figured that if I managed to keep behind the pace, I’d be more or less fine to reach my goal (even though I myself thought it a bit ambitious).

But it worked – I stuck behind him all the way. And he also looked out for me, which I found quite cool. In fact, at the end, I sprinted to the finish and saw him stop and more or less wait for me at the finish line.

I’m glad I did it, but I’m very glad it’s over. Will I do another? I’m not too sure right now, but I guess my opinion will change once I regain full use of my legs. Right now, they are aching like hell – as they say, no gain without pain.