It’s now been nearly two years since I’ve embarked on this project and I must say it’s getting quite tough – physically and mentally.

On the physical side, I’m training twice or three times a day for anything between two and four hours. Sometimes, I do 24-hour training sessions, rowing two-hours on, two hours off, and in a few weeks I’ll do a 48-hour indoor row.

I guess the body of a 50-year-old can only take so much, but I can’t really afford to slow down. I also need to make sure that on 1 March 2021, I do not leave on my trip already exhausted.

Having said that, I found out I have carpal tunnel syndrome in both my wrists, which means that a decision may be imposed on me. So getting carpal tunnel now may end up being a blessing in disguise.

Hands up

There are nerves in your wrists that lead to your fingers. If these nerves are squeezed or pinched, electrical impulses don’t get to your fingers as fast as they should.

Today I went to the doctor and unsurprisingly he found that the left hand is not doing very well. The right is not much better.

This is not too serious, but it means I need to get a double operation to fix them. Hopefully. this will happen next week. It’s a relatively simple procedure, and I’ll have to get the hands done two days apart. Not quite sure why.

Once done, I need to take a 10-day to two-week break from intense training. That sucks, but it’s also good for my body. I guess it needs a bit of a break.

The will to go on

Mentally, it’s more challenging. I’ve been preparing for this adventure for a long time and believe I am in good shape. Then, suddenly, I started having misgivings in September.

I can’t pinpoint the exact reason why. Probably, it’s a combination of many factors – my hands being messed up, fatigue, a low response to my fundraising efforts, little inroads with my social media campaigns (actually getting nearly as many unfollows as follows), Covid-19 isolation, and the inability to travel home.

It really has taken it’s toll. It’s hard to admit, but I’m struggling. There are good days, and there are bad.

Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat in near freak-out mode wondering what the hell I’ve got myself into. Another, I’m on top of the world. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not looking sympathy. I just need to ‘speak’ about this, even because I never had.

Despite this, I am resolute in carrying out the crossing, even if it’s the last thing I do. The determination to get to our final destination of French Guiana has not waned. Not even a little bit.

See you on the other side.

To find out more about Steve’s challenge, visit his website: www.crossrower.ch or de.crossrower.ch (German)