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World of Cars

Daphne roars again

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It’s been a long 18 months since Daphne – my faithful 1956 Renault Dauphine – broke down while on the way back home from work. It was devastating, depressing, and also confusing.

I think the devastating and depressing parts are obvious – never fun when your classic stops working. She’s like a member of the family, and it felt as though I let her down, somehow. I guess it maybe a thing with owners of vintage (Ed: do you mean old?) cars.

The confusing part was the cause of the breakdown. Having previously owned a 6V 1963 Volkswagen Beetle – her name was Roxanne because she didn’t put her red lights on – and she was constantly giving me similar issues to what Daphne was doing. And Daphne is also a 6V car.

I checked the distributor cap and it seemed fine. When the fine mechanic from TCS came by, he also said it was fine. We checked everything else (Ed: do you mean HE checked everything else?) and it all worked. And yes, because of past experiences, I also filled up the fuel tank, just in case.

I was towed home and Daphne sat there in my drive, idle. Forlorn. It was sad. I even tried to fire her up occasionally – it didn’t work.

The, I did what anyone else would – I hit the web. I searched high and wide, in the depths of the net, through mountains of useless drivel, and copious sites in French (Ed: bit obvious – it is a French car, duh). I also found some sites that, well, laid bare other things (apparently, Daphne is a preferred porn star name).

Then I gave up.

Daphne sat there, now wrapped up in layers and layers of covers to protect against the elements, jacked up to keep away from the snow to avoid rust issues.

When spring finally arrived, I opened her boot again (the engine is at the back) and went back to the distributor. And there it was, right in front of my face – the problem was that the top contact had come undone, and it was sitting there on the side.

My mechanic tried to find the part with no success, so we once again towed Daphne home. And again, I hit the net. The difference this time was that I actually knew what I was looking for – and I also found that a 1956 Dauphine distributor cap is special and very hard to find.

I did, eventually, in the States of all places.

The part arrived in November 2017 and I installed it. Finally. Drum roll… I turned the key, and it didn’t work. Repeated attempts bore the same result. No, no, no, no.

The covers went back on and Daphne settled down for winter.

Come March, the sun reappeared and I had a renewed vigour to get Daphne on the road. The battery was charged, tank filled (actually, it was full since it hadn’t moved for a long time), distributor removed and refitted. All was set, and I turned the key… nothing. Again… nothing, Again… still nothing. A fourth time… nope. Then, on the fifth attempt, there was what sounded like a fumbled attempt at firing up. I turned the key again and Daphne finally started up. I hadn’t heard her purr for such a long time. But she still had to visit the mechanic.

He is actually a race driver cum mechanic, and man did he work his magic. When I collected Daphne, she is amazing. Now, she’s roaring again and man it feels great. Finally, back on the road again.

 

World of Cars

F1 2016 – 13 reasons to watch, and five not to

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OK, keep clam and breathe – just one week left until the F1 season starts again. I know, it’s bene a long, hard winter, but are finally within touching distance.

Now, many think FIA’s F1 is really boring – of course, they are wrong. And this year, there are many reasons why I believe F1 will be more fun, more entertaining, more dazzling and maybe, just maybe, more competitive.

  1. Haas F1: I can hear the groans… “They’re American, they can go fast in a straight line or an oval, but nothing else.” A bit unfair, I’d say, and maybe there might be some truth. I have a feeling that the new outfit may have some surprises up their sleeve. For a start, they have secured the services of Romain Grojean and Gutierrez. And despite some initial glitches, their car is based on Ferrari (they have a Ferrari power unit and have bought as many Ferrari parts as is legally allowed), and Ferrari is now becoming more competitive, which brings me to my second point…
  2. Ferrari is becoming more competitive and they may possible challenge Mercedes, which brings me to my third point…
  3. I support Lewis Hamilton and am of course very happy that he has won the last two championships (and he also has two amazing dongs, but that’s irrelevant). Go HAM, make it three in a row
  4. I’m not sure what the new qualifying will bring. It possibly will be more exciting, but you do need to have a degree in rocket science to understand what’s going on. The new rules aim to keep drivers out more (I believe). If you want to know what the new rules are, read this
  5. Any slightly older person will remember the successes Renault had in F1 – it’s therefore great to have them back in the fold as a team
  6. It’s F1 for heaven’s sake – of course it fun
  7. The pit lane girls (actually, I wanted to include this for WTCC and forgot, so I thought I’d include it here)
  8. Manor could win their first points. I don’t know why, but I have a soft spot for them. Hopefully, the Mercedes engine (yeah, yeah, I know we’re not supposed to call it engine) and development programme will help they get off the mark. C’mon Manor.
  9. Williams are another of those fun teams and their Mass / Bottas line-up can achieve much more. I guess they may even challenge for second in a head-to-head with Ferrari
  10. McLaren anyone? According to reports, Honda have pulled their socks up and will provide the team with a far-improved, erm, power unit. And with two (albeit ageing) world champions on board, they may even sneak in a podium, possibly, maybe…
  11. Of course, Sauber. The Swiss outfit may be having some financial issues, but they are always a force to be reckoned with. I guess they will remain mid-table. I will surely be waving and cheering when they go by. Hop Schwiiiz
  12. There are 21 races this season that’ll take us all the way to end November. Fantastic!
  13. Max Verstappen, simply because he is Max Verstappen. Greta driver who’ll be around for a long time. He is definitely a World Champion in the making. And he’s still a teenager…

But there are also some negatives…

  1. Red Bull are still not competitive, and that’s a big pity. Come on Red Bull, buckle up…
  2. Mercedes domination – for the same reason as point 1, the Mercedes domination makes the sport somewhat boring at time. It’s a good thing I support Hamilton. Otherwise, it’d be very frustrating
  3. Still no female F1 driver, and now Susie has retired. She has, however, launched the #DareToBeDifferent campaign that seeks to get more women drivers into the sport. Read about it here
  4. Less time with the children on Sundays (sorry kiddos!)
  5. Overtaking, or the lack of it. Let’s hope we get more this year

The engines come to life on 20 March in Australia. It’ll be an early start of the day, but well worth it as the first race sets the tone for the rest of the season.

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Farewell old Fiat

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My father swore by the car, my brother and I swore at it!

The ageing Fiat 126 Bis was a constant feature our street in Sliema (Malta) and one big dividing factor in our household. My dad strongly defended the vehicle although it came equipped with a multitude of problems that a succession of mechanic struggled to fix. My elder brother and I borrowed the car on numerous occasions, and generally parked far enough away from where we were going so we wouldn’t be seen in it. The day after we took it, my dad would give it a through check to make sure there were no scratches and dents. And then the fights began.

Mostly, there was nothing visible, which is surprising knowing that the car handled like a drunk cow, had the worst build quality of any car on the planet – including Yugo, and boasted the horse power of a broken washing machine. All in all, a pretty crap car. But any sign of damage, sudden appearance of strange noises or, God forbid, the mirrors were not safely tucked in and my dad would blow his top.

And yet, there was something about it – I’m not sure what, nor whether I loved or hated it. The Fiat was a little survivor. I remember I once literally took off (really, four wheels off the ground, albeit for a second or two). It just kept on going without complaining. It carried me to loads of places and wasted as much fuel as my lawn mower. The car drove through flooded roads, packed in more than the allowed three passengers plus driver, and, well, some other things happened in there, too.

We should not have complained. Speaking with some Polish journalists recently (The Fiat 126 Bis was built in Poland), they told me the Bis was the luxury version! My goodness, what did they drive?

Those were the early 1990s and having a car was, indeed, a luxury. Although I did feel that a slightly bigger car with a real engine would have been a more-appreciated luxury. In a way, I feel grateful to the little Bis. It was kept on the road until earlier this year when my dad, now three quarters of a century old, decided that one car was enough (yeah, he actually had two cars).

So the aging 20+ year old car, showing more than its age, was finally sent to the equivalent of an old people’s home. It saddens me to see her go. Thanks for all, little car! Oh, and sorry for all the insults and jibes over the years…