It’s very easy – even fun sometimes – to criticise the place where you live. It’s probably natural. For example, I live in Switzerland, so silly things such as the fact that people tend not to smile very often is extremely annoying. But the constant nagging in Malta, my native home, doesn’t bother me a tiny bit as I do not have to put up with it any more.
This got me thinking – where is best to live, Malta or Switzerland? So I came up with what I believe is better in a number of categories and gave each country a score out of 10.
Food
Switzerland: It’s quite good, actually. You have fondue chinoise and cheese fondue, Rösti, and Raclette to name just a few favoured by tourists. Food could be a bit predictable.  7/10
Malta: Also good – just think of baked macaroni, ross fil-forn, pastizzi, bigilla, imqaret, lampuki, and many others, even rabbit (hate it, but apparently it’s good). Very healthy Mediterranean cuisine, but also artery-blocking cholesterol-filled fatty foods that nonetheless taste great. 8/10
Roads
Switzerland: Well, Swiss roads are great, well maintained, well marked and clean, cleared when snow falls and safe. The only drawback is the passion the Swiss have for roadworks, even when a road seems to be in top shape. These works generally tend to take a long time to finish, but results are superb.  9.5/10
Malta: Erm, where can I start? Maltese roads are similar to those of a war ravaged country – cr*p! They are so bad you may actually think you are off-roading most of the time. Potholes are everywhere, markings disappear after 10 seconds, street signs are incorrect, confusing or inexistent and traffic lights work randomly. It’s a no-go for me. 3/10
Motorists
Switzerland: If you think everyone follows the rules, you are right-ish, but not right. The thing is that when the Swiss don’t follow the rules, it’s just for minor issues, such as indicating. To be honest, some flexibility would really go a long way to making motoring in Switzerland more fun. For example, motorists will insist and take their right of way even if this slows them down. And letting you get out of a side road is unthinkable. They would benefit a lot by letting their hair down ever so slightly. 7/10
Malta: People generally follow the rules, but it’s often the rules of the road not the Highway Code, resulting in a free for all where the larger vehicle commands. However, things do move, eventually. 5/10
Friendship
Switzerland: The concept of friendship is one which is based on the very long term. You can’t meet somebody and instantly think of him or her as a friend – it doesn’t work. Friendship is cultivated over extended periods, through thick and thin, usually starting from early school years. Very often, they use the term Kollege, which loosely translates to acquaintance. This makes it very difficult to make friends in Switzerland, at least with the Swiss, but it also means that friendships are strong and true. And first name basis is a no-go for quite sometime, although this rule may be broken by non-Swiss. 5/10
Malta: The second you meet somebody in Malta, he or she is your friend. Maltese follow the Anglo-Saxon idea whereby you are on first names terms nearly instantly (with obvious exceptions). This makes it easy to make friends, but these friends often disappear quickly or are only around when the going is easy (or if they need something). 4/10
Public transport
Switzerland: The system here is quite efficient, but incredibly expensive. For a one-year ticket including around eight to 10 zones, you’d have to fork out around €2,000. Also, people seem to forget their manners on trains – and people never smile. Bah! 6/10
Malta: Ha ha ha. Hilarious! 1/10
Politics
Switzerland: Things are debated in a civil fashion, placards are affixed for elections and people can vote by internet – all in all it’s democracy at its best. We have out very own far right party that subtly associates foreigners with criminality. But that’s part of politics, so it’s fair game (ish). Many people do not change their political affiliation, irrespective of what happens – even because very little happens. We also have the slightly wobbly Magic Formula, which means there is no effective opposition. All a bit boring at the end of the day. Oh, and Swiss vote around six times a year in a multitude of referenda, so they are well practices in the practice of people democracy. 5/10
Malta: Politics is everything, and families are split down the middle because of it. The two main parties command 99% of the vote, making the third a political futility – for the time being. People and politicians get hot under the collar in debates, and matters can even turn violent. Diehards (that’s around 70% of the voters) never change their mind, even if their party committed the worst atrocities. The votes are fairly evenly divided down the middle. Apart from the hostility, it makes for interesting reading. 6/10
Religion
Switzerland: It’s relatively easy here – you are not judged by how many times you go to your church, temple or mosque. Nor whether you write Xmas or Christmas! 6/10
Malta: It seems that every facet of lfe is determined by the church. It’s a little bit too much, especially considering that people often act in – how can I put it? – anything but the way Christians should. Oh, by the way, I write Xmas – does that mean that I’m not a Christian anymore and God doesn’t love me anymore? Gimme a break! 3/10
Living space
Switzerland: Open spaces, cities, mountains, lakes – it’s postcard perfect in most places, making living a great experience. Again, sometimes too predictable and boring, and things don’t come cheap. 7/10
Malta: With a population density of 1,300 people per square kilometre, it’s hard to find space. And the incredible number of unoccupied dwellings makes it all the more dire. 4/10
Neighbours
Switzerland: We’re lucky as we have great neighbours. We live in the countryside and have a great deal of space. In the city, things are more crowded and neighbourly love can be hard to find. You could live in an apartment block for years and the only contact you have with people living above or below you would be a courteous hello or Gruezi. And the least infringement could be good enough reason to call the cops. But boundaries are generally respected. 7/10
Malta: In Malta, I have great neighbours (good old Mary, always complaining about her angina – I wonder if she’s still alive…) on one side and the neighbours from hell on the other. At a friends place, we could hear all their conversations as they seemed to constantly speak rather loudly. But living in a block or neighbourhood could also result in great parties and strong friendships. 6/10
Bottom line is that I don’t know what the bottom line is – the jury’s out, sort of. Nostalgia for Malta is ever present, despite the drawbacks, but Switzerland is home now. If only people here would chill out a bit…
