When speaking to one of my three daughters the other day, I realized that somehow she was under the impression that she couldn’t do something ‘because I’m a girl’. I strive not to do anything that upholds this impression, but the problem is that I believe society is so male-centered that women must take it upon themselves to change.
As a father of three girls, I want to make sure – as much as I can – that they live in a fair world, not one where they are constantly in second place. So here’s my list of things women should stop / start doing:
- Don’t change your name when you get married – why can’t your husband change his? Marriage is the seal of a contract between two parties to form a union for life, and immediately, the woman has to submit to her husband by taking his name. It sets the tone for future life. Is there any law that says a woman should take her husband’s name? If there is, it should be repealed, if there isn’t such a law, woman shouldn’t do it.
- Speaking of marriage, why not have the groom’s mother give him away to his future wife and not have the father give the bride away – is she his possession?
- Don’t accept low paid jobs. Just don’t. If you do, you are setting yourself up for a big fall. Don’t let people (usually men) put you down and make you lose your self-esteem to the point that you believe you can only do marginal jobs.
- When you’re offered a normal (sic) job, don’t accept the salary they offer – ask for 20% more. In this way, you are ether on an equally footing with your male counterparts or you’re getting a better pay than them (because you probably deserve it).
- Don’t agree to having women’s quotas – they simply reinforce the idea that you ‘only got the job because you’re a woman’ and, by definition, men are better.
- Do laugh at ‘jokes’ which undermine women – the ‘must be a woman driver’ type jokes. These are men’s way of putting you down subtly.
- Always, always have control over your finances. Always
- If you are a housewife, treat it as a job like any other. This means that you need to plan, budget and also ensure you have time off. It also means that you can’t expect your husband / partner to know what you do (in the same way you don’t know what he does).
- If you want a job, go for it. Your husband / partner can also stay home as a househusband. The he can enjoy ‘not working all day’
- Drive, at least half the times you are with your partner / husband.
- If your husband / partner is so keen on showing off his skill with the BBQ, you should also make sure he does the same with the induction cooker.
- If you want to be treated equally, don’t expect men to open doors for you.
- If your husband / partner expects you to get all done up for an event, you should also expect him to do the same
- Have an opinion, even on the most mundane things – don’t depend on others to give you your opinion
- Don’t take a mini course for self-defence – take regular normal martial arts / boxing / kick boxing lessons or similar. In this way, you don’t need a man to stick up for you. And if you think it’s not ‘normal’ for a woman to do so, remember that this notion was introduced by men (probably).
- If your husband / partner hits you, leave or throw him out. He will not change. It’s irrelevant whether or not he had a bad day – it is unacceptable and should not be tolerated. Report the incident to the police, too. If you do nothing, he will get away with it and yes, he will hit you again.
- Don’t aim to reach a goal so that ‘you’re the first woman to do it’, but aim for a goal because you know you can do it and are good at what you do
- Don’t accept lists of this you should or shouldn’t do that were made up by a man (except this one, of course)