When speaking to one of my three daughters the other day, I realized that somehow she was under the impression that she couldn’t do something ‘because I’m a girl’. I strive not to do anything that upholds this impression, but the problem is that I believe society is so male-centered that women must take it upon themselves to change.

As a father of three girls, I want to make sure – as much as I can – that they live in a fair world, not one where they are constantly in second place. So here’s my list of things women should stop / start doing:

1. Don’t change your name when you get married – why can’t your husband change his? Marriage is the seal of a contract between two parties to form a union for life, and immediately, the woman has to submit to her husband by taking his name. It sets the tone for future life. Is there any law that says a woman should take her husband’s name? If there is, it should be repealed, if there isn’t such a law, woman shouldn’t do it.
2. Speaking of marriage, why not have the groom’s mother give him away to his future wife and not have the father give the bride away – is she his possession?
3. Don’t accept low paid jobs. Just don’t. If you do, you are setting yourself up for a big fall. Don’t let people (usually men) put you down and make you lose your self-esteem to the point that you believe you can only do marginal jobs.
4. When you’re offered a normal (sic) job, don’t accept the salary they offer – ask for 20% more. In this way, you are ether on an equally footing with your male counterparts or you’re getting a better pay than them (because you probably deserve it).
5. Don’t agree to having women’s quotas – they simply reinforce the idea that you ‘only got the job because you’re a woman’ and, by definition, men are better.
6. Do laugh at ‘jokes’ which undermine women – the ‘must be a woman driver’ type jokes. These are men’s way of putting you down subtly.
7. Always, always have control over your finances. Always
8. If you are a housewife, treat it as a job like any other. This means that you need to plan, budget and also ensure you have time off. It also means that you can’t expect your husband / partner to know what you do (in the same way you don’t know what he does).
9. If you want a job, go for it. Your husband / partner can also stay home as a househusband. The he can enjoy ‘not working all day’
10. Drive, at least half the times you are with your partner / husband.
11. If your husband / partner is so keen on showing off his skill with the BBQ, you should also make sure he does the same with the induction cooker.
12. If you want to be treated equally, don’t expect men to open doors for you.
13. If your husband / partner expects you to get all done up for an event, you should also expect him to do the same
14. Have an opinion, even on the most mundane things – don’t depend on others to give you your opinion
15. Don’t take a mini course for self-defence – take regular normal martial arts / boxing / kick boxing lessons or similar. In this way, you don’t need a man to stick up for you. And if you think it’s not ‘normal’ for a woman to do so, remember that this notion was introduced by men (probably).
16. If your husband / partner hits you, leave or throw him out. He will not change. It’s irrelevant whether or not he had a bad day – it is unacceptable and should not be tolerated. Report the incident to the police, too. If you do nothing, he will get away with it and yes, he will hit you again.
17. Don’t aim to reach a goal so that ‘you’re the first woman to do it’, but aim for a goal because you know you can do it and are good at what you do
18. Don’t accept lists of this you should or shouldn’t do that were made up by a man (except this one, of course)